We knew that following God’s plan for our family wouldn’t be easy, but that it would ultimately bring our family the most happiness.

WHAT NOW? By Becky Macbeth June 12, 2015, 6:00am. A moment...

I always say that it’s the things we don’t expect that make life tough. We can mentally prepare ourselves for many types of life situations or circumstances but still there will be things we don’t see coming and those things always seem to be the most difficult.

My faith in the Lord is sure. He loves each of us so much. He is just waiting for us to reach out to Him so that He can comfort us through our trials.

For some reason, I was called to do this and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Whether that’s to help someone else, or strengthen my faith, this is my story—the moments that make me, me. It’s God’s plan and there is beauty and love in every moment and phase of life, if we are open to receiving it. God has not forsaken us.

I did not get to do everything we usually do during the season; among many things gingerbread houses didn’t get made and Santa had a plate of store-bought cookies on Christmas eve, but it didn’t matter. I got to watch my other children serve one another and help me. I watched as my oldest helped the younger ones wrap their presents and get them under the tree. I got to have quiet moments rocking and caring for a newborn baby as I thought of and celebrated the birth of my Savior.

One of the hardest things I had to do was leave them after I was released from the hospital after 10 days. At the time I had no idea how long their NICU journey would be.

Because of Jesus Christ and his infinite atonement we are all able to return home. To be cleansed. To live in an eternal state with our Father in Heaven. He is waiting for us to return home and I know he was waiting for my dad.

Time has repeatedly proven that Jesus is just a reach away. Yes, it is that simple. Just my hand in His, the touch of His hem, can heal me and carry me through it all.

They will never know how special and meaningful it was to me. I am so grateful to their examples of love and support. I have tried to emulate their Christlike examples going forward. I know God relies on us to do His work here on earth.

I now know what I have been missing—true joy comes from a personal relationship with Christ.

I found that through the power of the atonement, Christ can heal any broken heart … fix any broken marriage and that truly, “it is never too late to be who you might have been!”

After I had my baby, more and more of my friends ran across trials of infertility, miscarriage, and losing babies. I realized that in a very small way I knew how they felt, I could empathize. Any time a woman is denied that greatest gift of motherhood, it is agonizing.

I never knew that the details of my pain and suffering was what was holding me back. I was so consumed by them that I lacked gratitude and sight of my Savior.

What has changed is my desire to follow His example and feel my pain, to never give up, and to allow the atonement of my Savior to change me so I can then support others.

Our pain, our anguish, our resolve to turn to Him even in those awful moments when we’re not sure we will ever be whole again connect us to His moment in the Garden when He asked God to take His cup from Him. He lived a life of scars and so do we.

Every time I find myself thinking “I AM NOT READY,” a reminder from the heavens, always in the form of Rusty’s encouraging voice, reassures me of the incredible joys that have always come when I’ve done the right, hard, faithful things.

In that moment, crying on the bed in my foster home, I needed so much. I felt like a whale in a desert and there was no chance of rain. I worried that there was nothing I could do to change my life trajectory. I worried I would end up the same as the other kids in foster care and my family– with so much hurt, wrong choices, and only the mirage of love. I wanted to give up. But, in that darkest moment, I started to feel something change in me.

I was devastated by what I was hearing. By the end of the meeting, I was sobbing across from him, feeling so defeated.
I had worked so hard and so long all year, and my boss had no confidence in my ability as a teacher. Of course I did not like hearing those words after giving everything I had, but even more so, I felt so disappointed in myself and in God.

I felt like my relationship with Him was becoming more personal. Though I knew I loved Him, I never thought about how much He loved me. I never thought about how He knows me and knows the desires of my heart. My heart began to swell within me.

My dad was right, it isn’t black and white. There is a grey, and Christ lives there. He sweat great drops of grey, black, and white in the Garden of Gethsemane.

My sweet gift is now with our Savior—our greatest Gift from God. Through Jesus’ life, ministry and sacrifice, we can be made whole as mothers, as daughters of God and as a family. We look forward to the day when we will see our little Nathan again, because we will see him through our Savior. Christ has given us the greatest gift of all—a family united for eternity.

Tears streamed down my face and waves of relief washed over me. The Prince of Peace Himself was baptizing me with comfort and joy. Dismay, anxiety, tension became small and peace became big.

As I have looked for His helping hand in these seemingly small life moments, I have been able to see how Heavenly Father has guided and led me to be where I am for a bigger purpose than I could see through my mortal lense. I have not only seen that motherhood is valued by God, but more importantly I’ve learned that what I do is not who I am.

My story is made up of many small moments that make it mine and nobody else’s. Those small moments, along with the people around me, both in heaven and on earth, have helped my faith grow and make me who I am.

I realized that being whole and being healed are two different things. By consistently returning in faith to Jesus Christ to thank Him for all the gifts He bestows on me, I can be whole in addition to being healed. Faith is a never-ending process of refinement.

I had wondered if my roots were deep or if my faith was real, not just the product of an easy life. It took a tragedy for me to experience that my life, my tree of my faith that I had been nurturing my whole life, was indeed deeply rooted and strong.

If we look closely we can see His hand, and when we are lucky enough, sometimes, He uses ours.

I remember exactly where I paused and had this thought, plodding home from work one evening, “There must be somewhere in the world where people are better than this. This just can’t be what being a grown up is all about.”

I took things one day at a time, but had an unrelenting resolve to get myself back to hiking the Utah mountains with my dog again. Those bank robbers broke my body, but I wasn’t going to let them break my spirit.

These were the single words highlighted in my scriptures as I opened it after crying on my knees to my Heavenly Father. The comfort I felt after reading these words was indescribable.

My whole life I always believed in God and my Savior, but when something happens that says, your Heavenly Father just took care of you– now that’s where your testimony and faith grow.

Again in this moment I thought of my loving Heavenly Father. He is always watching over me, even when I feel totally alone and forgotten, in fact especially in those moments.

We were praying, and fasting, and paying tithing. We were faithful and diligent, so where was our overflowing of blessings? At this point we would have been happy with even a trickle of the blessings we sought after. But the job inquiries went unanswered and the interviews led to polite rejections.

But there are other moments in life, too – the small ones – the ones that are constantly occurring and often seem to slip by without anybody noticing. I have a lot of these moments.

Every time I walked into the hospital and saw him with things all over his face and wires all over his little body, I knew–I felt the spirit tell me– I couldn’t let him stay that way any longer.

The swell of the music and the brightly colored sky makes my eyes fill with tears. I am overcome with gratitude for this country. The whole thing is flat-out patriotic.

And now I have to decide where my faith is. Each miscarriage has taught me different things, and already I am realizing that this miscarriage is going to teach me many lessons, but the most pressing one is “what choice are you going to make, Kiera?”

She was so relieved. And we were both so amazed at the direct answer the Lord gave me. We both came to know how much He was there for us, on even the smallest of things.

“I think the reason for my longevity is having a positive attitude. That’s the secret! While you’re alive, for heaven’s sake, LIVE.”

I woke up to wind crashing through our house. Telephone wires were sparking on the pavement; wind was blowing through my worn-down island-style home as if there were no walls. The eye of the storm was heading directly toward us.

I was clean and I wasn’t using and that was a victory. One day at a time.

My name is Jaime Jenkins and I am a 4 time cancer survivor…

I came to really know, love, and depend on my Savior, Jesus Christ. I looked forward to the time [with my scriptures] each day, and felt it when I missed.
This prepared me for a nightmare that was coming 6 months later.

I have experienced in my life that as I have become comfortable and appreciative of who I am, faults and all, my ability to more freely love others has increased. I have been able to replace fear of others with an appreciation for others as I have rid myself of judgements.

Never lose faith and never lose hope. He will carry us to the end, sending us loved ones along the way to lift our toes off the ground when we can’t walk any further…

He spoke all of 35 english words and yet had zero problem communicating with us, had a gigantic scar across his neck he got from a guy in the sewer trying to steal a phone he had, and had countless missing teeth. He seemed like the jackpot in Romanian homeless tour guides.  

I had no idea how priceless this man would actually be.

I have chronic back pain and it’s no joke. It is the most debilitating pain that I’ve experienced and the only thing that has ever caused me to pass out in my entire life. Every morning I wake up and stretch. . .

This to me is one definition of faith – moving forward without knowing everything, when you feel the weight of self-doubt, the conflict between the concern of a mother and obligation to a deadline. Moving forward because you heard an answer in your heart and you knew you had to do it.

I was praying for comfort. For hope. For peace. For ANYTHING . . .

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